Your programming leads to your thoughts; your thoughts lead to your feel- ings; your feelings lead to your actions; your actions lead to your results. Therefore, just as is done with a personal computer, by changing your pro- gramming, you take the first essential step to changing your results. So how are we conditioned? We are conditioned in three primary ways in every arena of life, including money: Verbal programming: What did you hear when you were young? Modeling: What did you see when you were young? Specific incidents: What did you experience when you were young? The three aspects of conditioning are important to understand, so let’s go over each of them. In Part II of this book, you will learn how to recondition yourself for wealth and success.
The First Influence: Verbal Programming
Let’s begin with verbal programming. What did you hear about money, wealth, and rich people when you were growing up? Did you ever hear phrases like money is the root of all evil, save your money for a rainy day, rich people are greedy, rich people are criminals, filthy rich, you have to work hard to make money, money doesn’t grow on trees, you can’t be rich and spiritual, money doesn’t buy happiness, money talks, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, that’s not for people like us, not everyone can be rich, there’s never enough, and the infamous we can’t afford it? In my household, every time I asked my father for any money I’d hear him scream, “What am I made of…money?” Jokingly I’d respond, “I wish. I’ll take an arm, a hand, even a finger.” He never laughed once. Here’s the rub.
All the statements you heard about money when you were young remain in your subconscious mind as part of the blueprint that is run- ning your financial life. Verbal conditioning is extremely powerful. For example, when my son, Jesse, was three years old, he ran over to me and excitedly said, “Daddy, let’s go see the Ninja Turtle movie. It’s playing near us.” For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how this toddler could already be a master of geography. A couple of hours later, I got my answer in the form of a TV commercial adver- tising the movie, which had at the end the usual tagline: “Now playing at a the- ater near you.”
Steps for Change: Verbal Programming AWARENESS: Write down all the statements you heard about money, wealth, and rich people when you were young. UNDERSTANDING: Write down how you believe these statements have af- fected your financial life so far. DISASSOCIATION: Can you see that these thoughts represent only what you learned and are not part of your anatomy and not who you are? Can you see that you have a choice in the present moment to be different? DECLARATION: Place your hand over your heart and say… “What I heard about money isn’t necessarily true. I choose to adopt new ways of thinking that support my happiness and success.” Touch your head and say… “I have a millionaire mind.”
The Second Influence: Modeling
The second way we are conditioned is called modeling. What were your par- ents or guardians like in the arena of money when you were growing up? Did one or both of them manage their money well or did they mismanage it? Were they spenders or savers? Were they shrewd investors or were they nonin- vestors? Were they risk takers or conservative? Was money consistently there or was the flow more sporadic? Did money come easily in your family, or was it always a struggle? Was money a source of joy in your household or the cause of bitter arguments? Why is this information important? You’ve probably heard the saying “Mon- key see, monkey do.” Well, humans aren’t far behind. As kids, we learn just about everything from modeling.
Although most of us would hate to admit it, there’s more than a grain of truth in the old saying “The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree.” This reminds me of the story about a woman who prepares a ham for din- ner by cutting off both ends. Her bewildered husband asks why she cuts off the ends. She replies, “That’s how my mom cooked it.” Well, it just so hap- pened that her mom was coming for dinner that night. So they asked her why she cut off the ends of the ham. Mom replies, “That’s how my mom cooked it.” So they decide to call Grandma on the phone and ask why she cut off the ends of the ham. Her answer? “Because my pan was too small!”
WEALTH PRINCIPLE: If your motivation for acquiring money or success comes from a nonsupportive root such as fear, anger, or the need to “prove” yourself, your money will never bring you happiness.
Steps for Change
Modeling AWARENESS: Consider the ways of being and habits each of your parents had around money and wealth. Write down how you may be identical or opposite to either of them. UNDERSTANDING: Write down the effect this modeling has had on your financial life. DISASSOCIATION: Can you see this way of being is only what you learned and isn’t you? Can you see you have a choice in the present moment to be different? DECLARATION: Place your hand over your heart and say… “What I modeled around money was their way. I choose my way.” Touch your head and say… “I have a millionaire mind!”
The Third Influence: Specific Incidents
The third primary way in which we are conditioned is by specific incidents. What did you experience when you were young around money, wealth, and rich people? These experiences are extremely important because they shape the be- liefs—or rather, the illusions—you now live by. Let me give you an example. A woman who was an operating-room nurse attended the Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar. Josey had an excellent in- come, but somehow she always spent all of her money. When we dug a little deeper, she revealed that when she was eleven years old, she remembers being at a Chinese restaurant with her parents and her sister.
Her mom and dad were having yet another bitter argument about money. Her dad was standing up, screaming and slamming his fist on the table. She remembers him turning red, then blue, then falling to the floor from a heart attack. She was on the swim team at school and had CPR training, which she administered, but to no avail. Her father died in her arms. And so, from that day forth, Josey’s mind linked money with pain. It’s no wonder then that as an adult, she subconsciously got rid of all of her money in an effort to get rid of her pain. It’s also interesting to note that she became a nurse. Why? Is it possible that she was still trying to save her dad? At the course, we helped Josey identify her old money blueprint and revise it. Today she’s well on her way to becoming financially free. She’s also not a nurse anymore. Not that she didn’t enjoy her job. It’s just that she was in the nursing profession for the wrong reason. She’s now a financial planner, still helping people, but this time one-on-one, to understand how their past pro- gramming runs every aspect of their financial lives.
Steps for Change: Specific Incidents Here’s an exercise you can do with your partner. Sit down and discuss the his- tory each of you brings to your thoughts about money—what you heard when you were young, what was modeled in your family, and any emotional incidents that occurred. Also, find out what money really means to your partner. Is it pleasure or freedom or security or status? This will assist you in identifying each other’s current money blueprint and may help you discover why you might be disagreeing in this arena. Next, discuss what you want today not as individuals, but as a partnership. Decide and agree upon your general goals and attitudes with regard to money and success. Then create a list of these attitudes and actions you both agree to live by and write them down. Post them on the wall, and if ever there’s an issue, gently, very gently, remind each other what you decided together when you were both objective, unemotional, and outside the grip of your old money blueprints.
AWARENESS: Consider a specific emotional incident you experienced around money when you were young. UNDERSTANDING: Write down how this incident may have affected your current financial life. DISASSOCIATION: Can you see this way of being is only what you learned and isn’t you? Can you see you have a choice in the present moment to be different? DECLARATION: Place your hand on your heart and say… “I release my nonsupportive money experiences from the past and create a new and rich future.” Touch your head and say… “I have a millionaire mind!”
WEALTH PRINCIPLE: The only way to permanently change the
temperature in the room is to reset the thermostat. In the same way, the only way to change your level of financial success“permanently” is to reset your financial thermostat. Consciousness is observing your thoughts and actions so that you can live from true choice in the present moment rather than being run by programming from the past.